Praying for Haitian orphans

Did you know that to adopt a child from Haiti it takes a really long time? As in, about a year to get a referral and then an ADDITIONAL 2-3 years of waiting to bring that child home. Wow. No kidding. Way to make it so NOT easy to save those children.

That of course is pre-earth quake. At this point it's going to be next to impossible. Trying to determine whether or not a child is in fact an orphan will be quite a task. There are children who have been referred to families in America who will be "expedited" through. This article talks about how these children will get home...

Press Release

(Port-au-Prince, Haiti) On January 20, 2010, 133 orphans from the Maison des Enfants de Dieu (Children of the House of God) orphanage will begin the difficult process outlined by the U.S. Department of State for humanitarian parole and onward transportation to the United States. In accordance with instructions received from the State Department, as relayed by the Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) at 8 p.m. today, orphans along with orphanage staff members have been instructed to arrive at the U.S. Embassy as early as possible on Wednesday morning. JCICS warned that no food, water or facilities would be available for the children while processing at the U.S. Embassy Port-au-Prince.

JCICS further relayed that orphanage requests to the U.S. Embassy for security and transportation for the children have been denied by the State Department. The U.S. ministry associated with this orphanage, For His Glory Adoption Outreach (FHG), was also asked to stop requesting security, transportation or even water at the orphanage location. Following discussions with staff and board members in Port-au-Prince, the difficult decision was made that all 133 children, including approximately 60 children under the age of 3, will begin early in the morning of January 20th to walk the over 2 kilometers to the U.S. Embassy Port-au-Prince. This decision was made due to the limited staff available and the increasingly dangerous security situation at the orphanage in Port-au-Prince. The staff will carry as much water, food and baby formula as possible with them for the orphans while processing at the U.S. Embassy. JCICS relayed that once processing is completed, the orphans will travel to the United States on "cargo jets to locations that are not often known until an hour or so before the flight leaves."

Kim Harmon, President of FHG, acknowledged that "this arrangement is far from ideal for the safety and well-being of the children. We are calling to all who care about these precious children to pray earnestly for their safety tomorrow."

Yeah, they are WALKING to the U.S. Embassy to catch cargo planes who knows when to finally get out. I pray that they've made it safely. That is just one orphanage.

So what about the children who were obviously orphans prior to the disaster? What about those children now? How much longer will they now need to wait to find families, especially since there could be a hold put on adoptions through Haiti? I followed some links and found this. At this point, I wish I were screened and approved as a foster parent. I would gladly foster a child until they could get back to Haiti.

Please pray for these children.

wow

Sometimes I think that if I just ignore it then it will go away. Maybe if I just don't pay attention to the echos and whispers then I won't hear them anymore. Sometimes I think I'm wrong. That I'm not interpreting the echos and whispers correctly. There's no way they could mean what I think they mean. Maybe, as someone recently suggested, the things I "see" are God's way of telling me that He's got it covered. He's got it under control. I don't need to help. After all, I am just one measly person. What good could I do?

Then I get a spare minute and head over to Ashley's blog and read this.

wow.

How can I not try to help in some way. Isn't there SOMETHING that I can do?

Bandwagon

I recently noticed on a friends website a mention of adoption. I sent my friend an email about it and asked if she and her husband were considering adoption. She said they were, that they had been for years and that they were just kind of waiting to see where the Lord led them in that situation. Sounded awfully familiar. One thing she asked though was that I please keep this information to myself because she didn't want people to think that they were just "jumping on the latest bandwagon".

I knew exactly what she meant. How do you go from someone who has never really cared at all to someone who's eyes have been opened to the countless needs of children around the world and NOT have people wonder what on earth has gotten into you. I image when that happens you hear a lot of people mumbling about how you've lost your mind. How maybe you've gotten a wild hair and decided to do something crazy. Or perhaps that other people you know have adopted and you've just jumped on the bandwagon.

I'm not gonna lie, that's been a concern of mine. So much so that I have only shared this blog with a few people. For several months now I have felt that He is calling me to adopt. I've prayed about it. A lot. I shared it with my husband. He's not feeling it. At this point we are both just diligently praying that what ever His will for us, that we both be in line with it. Maybe we'll adopt. Maybe we won't. I'm just excited and anxious at this point to see how He uses me. In the meantime, I started this blog to document my feelings. I've never been a very good communicator and it's often easier for me to work through my thoughts if I write them down. I figured I would share this "secret" blog with a handful of people who I could talk to about it.

One day while on Ashley's blog I noticed that she had added this litle "secret" blog of mine to her blog roll. It was out there for the whole world to see. I kind of panicked at first. I didn't know that I was ready for everyone to hear this information. I got scared. I didn't want to be accused of...jumping on the bandwagon. I thought about asking her to remove the link but ultimately decided that no one would really see it anyway. Right? I mean, did she have readers that would click on that new random link and know it was me? Surely not. Right?


Wrong.


Just before Christmas I got word that someone ran into a friend and said, "So, I guess Brad and Margo are adopting!". Not so much. But, she'd apparently come to my blog from Ashley's. Panic set in again as I realized that people had already seen my blog and there was no hiding it now. Then something crazy happened. I decided it didn't really matter. As much as I'm a people pleaser, the only person that I REALLY have to please is God. And if I'm listening to Him and trying to follow His will for my life and other people think I've completely lost it or jumped on some bandwagon then what does that matter? There are people in the world who aren't free to openly serve my God and here I am concerned about what people might think of me if they knew I believe He is leading me to help orphans in some way? Wow. Selfish much Margo?

I would hope that whoever might run across this blog of mine would take notice that some significant changes are happening to me. That they would remember that who I have been up until this point in my life doesn't have to be who I am for the remainder of my days on this earth. And I pray that at some point years down the road it would be this NEW me that people would think of when they hear my name. Better yet, that they would think of my God and what HE did through me!

Lord, when I stand before You someday may I have much more to show you than the fact that I clung to the balance beam my whole life and played it safe!

Still here

This time of the year is so incredibly busy, yet God has continued to echo His desire for me. I continue to pray that Brad will feel as I do. Until then though, I'm at a bit of a stand still. I know that He wouldn't have put this so strongly on my heart if He didn't intend for Brad to be beside me. So until Brad is ready I will just continue to pray and wait. Ugh, waiting. It's hard for me!

Today I had the opportunity to help a single mother with a small foster child by purchasing clothing and shoes for him. I got really weepy standing in the kids clothing department at Wal-Mart trying to find the right thing for this little boy. What started out as an easy task just broke my heart as I thought about this little boy and the fact that he doesn't have a mommy and daddy caring for him. I just wanted to get him some new clothing but the t-shirts stating "Mommy's Angel" and "Daddy's Helper" got me thinking about him and his circumstances. I don't even know this little boy but for me he represents so many children that are without loving families. Children that I've never really thought much about until recently.

This Christmas as we all celebrate surrounded with plenty of gifts and loving families I will be thinking of children around the world who are without so much. Children who desperately need families to care for them.

Just thoughts...

Still here. Asking Him to continue to lead me. Not only in this process but in all aspects of my life. I know I can't do it alone. Brad's still uncertain as to whether or not this is something that we should pursue. So I continue to pray and ask Him to not only continue to tell me what steps I should take but for Brad as well.

Thinking and praying a bit earlier. This song came on and really made me think. Kinda seems like my life right now. I know I'm made for more. What AM I waiting for?

You look around
It's staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder

What if i'm overtaken
What if i never make it
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes in you
You can walk on the water too

So get out
And let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste
Don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

(step out)
Even when a storm hits
(step out)
Even when you're broken
(step out)
Even when your heart is telling you telling you to give up
(step out)
When your hope is stolen
(step out)
You can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid

So what are you waiting for?
~BRITT NICOLE - Walk On The Water lyrics

O. Ver. Whelmed.

Seriously overwhelmed with what God wants me to do.
Seriously.

I shared my blog with Brad last week. He knew what I was feeling. We'd talked about it on several occasions over the last few months. I'm not very good at articulating my thoughts which is part of why I started this blog. So when he read my entries and I shared with him some other details I think he was pretty much shocked. Shocked at how seeing everything all laid out there in black and white seemed to be so real.

Brad is very practical. He needs answers to how this could work. Answers that I can't give him because I have no idea myself. For so long now I've said I would love to have more children. So I can understand why he might see this as something I've gotten into my head and decided it's "from God". Here's the thing though, as much as I love the idea of having more children the thought of actually doing it scares me to death.

My youngest child is 7 years old. How can I possibly start over with a baby? (Because I truly feel that He is leading us to adopt an infant.) We don't have baby stuff anymore. Where on earth would we even put a baby?!

We started having children very early in our marraige so I always imagined that there would be a time when the kids were gone and we'd still be young enough to enjoy each other. Is that possible if we start over now?

I have a new business. One that God has truly blessed me in. But how can I do my job if I have a little one to keep up with? This is actually a question that Brad brought to me last night. He had been praying about the adoption and that concern came to him, making him wonder if it's something that we shouldn't pursue for a while. My answer? I don't know.

I just don't know. My head is absolutely spinning with all these thoughts and concerns. I know the smart thing to do would be to give them to Him. So I do and then once again I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with His peace that covers me and reminds me to just trust Him...and obey. Overwhelmed with the thought that this is something He's been preparing me for much longer than I'm aware of. Overwhelmed knowing that somewhere out there I have another child.

Wow.

Echos

I mentioned in my last post that I have been doing a Bible Study called Sacred Echos. The author of this study, Margaret Feinberg, says that "when God really wants to get your attention, he doesn’t just say something once. He echoes. He speaks through a Sunday sermon, a chance conversation with a friend the next day, even a random email. The same theme, idea, impression, or lesson will repeat itself in surprising and unexpected ways until you realize that maybe, just maybe, God is at work. The repetitive nature of a sacred echo gives us confidence that God really is prompting, guiding, or leading."

Over the last couple of months I have had several instances where I believe God is whispering to me to adopt. Like when Sadie who never plays with baby dolls anymore comes downstairs with one and tells us that she'd adopted a baby. Or Teagan's small group leader telling me that Teagan prayed for a baby to join our family. Or the main story during our family devotion time being about a child in an orphanage in another country. Or the bumper sticker on the car in front of me that reads "invisible children" with an outline of Africa on it. These seemingly small things all group together to make me think He truly is whispering in my ear.

A conversation that I recently had with Brad turned into more of a shout from God saying, "Hello. Can't you hear me? THAT'S what I've been saying!" Madi had helped me during a newborn shoot and as usual she and I ooohed and aaaahed over the baby. It's not uncommon for Madi to look at me during these shoots and tell me that I should have another baby but this day she looked at me and said, "Mom, you should adopt a baby." Up until that point I had been very careful not to mention adoption around the kids because I didn't want them thinking it was an option unless it really was. So I later texted Brad about it and he said, "I'm open to the possibility. I aslo know that when you think and talk about something all the time it can seem like you see it everywhere." I was on my way out the door and got in the car thinking about how he was maybe right and HOW was I to know if it was truly from Him. As I turned the car on the song on the radio blared out to me singing, "I know you hear me won't you give me a sign." Wow.

That's the day that I thought I might start a blog. Just as a place to keep my thoughts. So that night during our devotional one of the verses that came up was 1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us." That and Esther 4:14 both had come up that day and I thought I might have the title of my blog be one of those verses. So after our devo I'm sitting on the couch and the tv had been paused because Sadie was watching an episode of a show she hadn't seen before. As the tv is unpaused it goes to a commercial thing where a viewer has sent in a story and it's a girl talking about her new little sister...that her family adopted...from Africa. Seriously. So I went to the computer to start my new blog.

Before I began I thought I should maybe google the verses that I was considering using to make sure someone else hadn't already had that idea. I googled "because He first loved us blog" and "for such a time as this blog". They are actually both being used for blogs which isn't really that strange, they are both fairly common verses right? Here's the weird thing, both of the blogs that I first found using those titles are adoption blogs. One from China and one from Rwanda. I didn't start this blog that night. I was too overcome with the fact that the whisper was getting so loud.

I spent a fairly good amount of time in prayer yesterday. Well, I say it was a fairly good amount of time but I don't pray nearly enough and in all actuality I probably should be spending that much time or more every single day. You have to start somewhere though, right? Anyway, I spent the day just going about my normal business and whenever I felt the urge I would drop everything and pray. There were several things on my heart yesterday and one of them was of course the adoption issue. God really just layed it all out and told me what I needed to do. Even with all of his whispering getting louder and louder I still had my doubts. And then yesterday happened. And now, no more doubting.

I'll end today with a verse that has come to me multiple times in the last month or so. A verse that has been more than a quiet whisper in my ear. A verse that tells me to be obedient.

"I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not invite me in. I needed clothes and you did not clothe me. I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me. I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." Matthew 25:42-42, 45