Monday, April 26, 2010

Have Skittles, will share

Yesterday at church we had a Skittles Sunday. At the beginning of the service there are trays handed out with individual packages of Skittles for everyone who wants them. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty awesome. Our minister shared a parable about 3 boys who all had Skittles and for one reason or another wouldn't share their Skittles with their Dad. Even though Dad was the one who provided them in the first place. Hmmmmm...

The sermon series we are currently doing is "a tenacious generosity". Yesterday's message was that God provides generously for you to be generous to others in need and this entire process leads to God's glory. God wants us to share our Skittles. He doesn't want us to keep them and hoard them for ourselves but he wants us to be generous to others in need!

I started thinking about the Skittles God has given me. One thing that has come to mind with the possible pursuing of this adoption is where we would put another person. We just don't have room!

Yeah, right.

We have room...it's just hard to think about giving up the space we have to cram more in here. We have been incredibly blessed to be in the home that we are in. The hubs built it so we were in for a lot less than we'd have had to pay for it. We've talked about moving recently but in order to get something that we could "afford" after paying off some debt we would be in an awfully small home. So I got to thinking that maybe this house is a big red juicy Skittle. There's no rule that says the kids have to each have their own room. I grew up sharing a room with my little sister and look how normal I am. (Shhhh, no comments if you know me!) Brad didn't share a room but the one he did have held just a twin bed, a dresser, and a sewing machine table. Obviously, they don't have to have tons of room.

I'm not the perfect PTA mom that I thought I would be. But I like to think I'm a pretty cool mom and a fun one. I love my kids to pieces and would go to the ends of the earth for them. God made me to be a Mom and while I'm certain that I could improve I just feel like the desire he gave me for children wasn't an accident. More Skittles.

Adoption can be expensive and while I know that we don't have a huge chunk of change (or really even a small one for that matter) just ready to throw into the process I know that God will provide. 2 Corinthians 9:8 says "And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work." We may not have have everything we think we need but He will provide enough for us. And when He does, His grace will overflow to us so that we can help others. So that we can be generous. So that we can hopefully bring another child into our home.

I've got Skittles...and I wanna share them!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Talking

I'm a crier. I don't know why, but that's just what I do. Drives my husband absolutely insane. Anytime we try to have a really serious discussion I end up in tears. No matter how hard I try my eyes always well up and I have to apologize for the tears. Lame.

So I'm here to say that the past two evenings Hubby and I discussed adoption. And I didn't cry. Not once. Yeah me!

After his suggestion to "sit and talk about where to adopt from" on Friday I started doing some research. I have thought on and off over the last several months about domestic adoption and while I know that there are kids here that need homes I just feel more led to adopt internationally. Saturday I discussed that a bit with Brad. He posed the question of why we wouldn't just adopt domestically. That perhaps God wants us to take care of our "own" before going elsewhere. My response was that I felt like all children are children of God, that He cares about them all no matter where they are. I tried to voice why I felt international adoption was the route we should take. Not only am a crier, I don't have the ability to put my thoughts into words either. It's really a shame. Especially since it all makes so much sense in this head of mine!

I ran across this quote on a blog today and was so happy to know that someone else was able to put my thoughts into words. "While adoptable children in the US might not have families, they will still get food and care. The children in xxx are dying." You can insert whatever country you want to in that quote. After participating in the 30 Hour Famine with World Vision recently and learning statistics that just break your heart I feel more compelled to adopt internationally. I'm sure that map doesn't include all of the countries with hungry children. In fact, the country and it's 5 million orphans that I have been researching recently isn't even represented. However, I think it makes sense to say that while the US has the foster system in place (even if it is lacking) adoptable children here are at least eating. Ya know?

So Friday night I was looking online at a blog that a good friend had referred me to. While there I clicked on a link, which took me to another link, which ended me up completely immersed in one country and the orphans there. Personally knowing families who have recently adopted from Ethiopia and Rwanda I kind of was leaning towards one of those locations until I stumbled across this one. I've just been praying ever since and asking God for direction. I do feel like I "stumbled" upon this place for a reason. There is so little known about it. Perhaps if we adopt a child from there we can help bring awareness of the orphans and people there in so desperate need of help.

Last night while talking Brad voiced his concerns of "starting over". Our kids are all potty trained. They can make themselves a meal if they need to. They are big! I completely understand where he is coming from. And I have those fears as well. I've talked about it before here. The thing is, my heart feels more like it's the right thing to do then it's the wrong thing. You know?

I know some people know about this blog but for the most part I haven't really shared it much. However, if by chance you are here I would just ask that you pray for us and our family as we wrestle with this decision. Thanks!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Still here...again

I have two blog entries that I've been meaning to post. The time just gets away from me and I somehow go days and realize that I still haven't posted. Hate that!

One of my entries deals with dreams. Dreams with babies. Totally random dreams I tell you but I still want to share.

The other entry deals with my last Bible study when I just kinda got another brick thrown at me by God saying HELLO! Why aren't you listening to me? Duh!

Today though I just am posting a super fast entry letting the world know that I'm still here. And that I may possibly be one day closer to officially moving forward.

Maybe.

In texting with my hubby earlier he mentioned wanting to do something fun this evening. I threw out some ideas and then texted "wanna sit and talk about what country you would like to adopt from?". Imagining that I would get some sarcastic remark back I read the response and was a bit shocked. He said, "I don't know. Date Night movie? Visit Memaw? Sit and talk about what country to adopt from?" I mentioned that I was shocked that my idea even made the list and he said, "Even before you sent it".

Even before I sent it? Wait...what? You mean we were both thinking the same thing?

Wow.

Maybe...just maybe...God is working in his heart too.